Trip down memory lane…Gav Vs A Crow

I thought we’d do a “Where are they now?”

Ladies and Gentlemen…. My Crow!

Not the actual crow...but they all look the same...wow, i'm a bird racist!

This bastard cost me dozens of dollars and many a trip to Super Cheap Auto, when this crow took a liking to the rubbers in my wiper blades…yep, animal decide to fuck with me PERSONALLY! (The kind of stuff that could only happen to me) No one else on my street was bothered….I even did a survey. Just me and my car….bastard.

This crow also caused much amusement for the readers of the original version of the blog (now dead for careeer reasons after the stuff I wrote about the shithole known as Kalgoorlie), with my constant embarrassing losses to this crow. I just couldn’t figure out a way to make this crow go away…short of killing it. Which is my solution for most things….i’m joking….somewhat 😛

The fact that mother works for the RSPCA, this would have been frowned on by her and probably would have lost me friends and readers. As satisfying as opening a blog with ‘GOT THE BASTARD!”…and me in a picture like some hunter arsehole holding up my kill for the world to see. I disliked this animal, but I liked the fact it gave me something to write about. I couldn’t make this shit up…and it was giving me KILLER material. I don’t think I’ve topped the Crow Saga EVER, in a blog….it was my finest writing hour so far. Ask my fellow radio dude in Matt from TNT…he still laughs about the crow.

I’m never going to watch the Hitchcock flick “The Birds” now. The thing is…in my over-active imagination, that flim could happen to me. I remember one of my readers “Azmo” mentioning the scenario of  my crow and his murder waiting for me one day outside and them mismembering me in a violent and painful death…thanks for that visual, dude. I’d take a few of them with me…if they didn’t take my eyes first…which they would do…..bastards!

I never had nightmares about the crow by the way, but this for some reason made think of some kids movie ideas…..Mr.Cross (voiced by some hollywood personality maybe Russel Crowe) Vs A Crow (another celeb voice). Imagine the poster…makes me giggle thinking about it.

Mr.Cross Vs A Crow…it’s war in the suburbs, May 9th.

Where is the crow now?

The crow is still hanging around my house, drinking from the bird bath, sitting on the fence looking menacing with a mate….but now they attack car at the near by shops, silicon sealing in shop windows and generally pissing off people. In fact it’s become a problem for the folk of my suburban shopping mini-mall. I just think  “Now you know how I felt!”…bastards.

Upon some actual research…yes I researched something. I found that the crow menace is because Craigie High School was shut and knocked down earlier in the decade (it all happened over the space of the years of 2003-2005). My old high school (the connection maaaaaaan!) and the crows used to live in the high school, free food and drink and plenty of trees and forna for extra food and shelter….it was thier habitat. Now it’s a pile of sand surrounded by a useless fence with plenty of holes in it (I love my nieghbourhood)…and has been for 3 years plus! Nice work, City of Joondalup.

The crows have taken the shops for the free food and probably the be bastards for people destroying there habitat and turning it a half decent 4×4 track (not intentionally) and soon to be Craigie Community Centre…

Sidenote: Do kids need community centres?….they all stay indoors and scarf and read facebook and stupis blogs like this!

The crow didn’t attack the last car I had ( I sold the Magna it took a liking to for scrap…yes, i’d have that car back in a heartbeat too…I loved that peice of shit), the car I owned last year…the crow didnt bother with…may it got bored…or hated the car….probably the latter. Today, me and the crow still face off. I give it a dirty look, it looks at me and flies away…so the Crow war is over. But the scars remain….bastard.

Regards and somewhat funny and plesant memories.

Gav