No Footy? Now what!!!?

The most depressing time of the year is coming for any red-blooded male… the horrible space in between the Footy and the Cricket seasons.

I hate this time of year just after you watch the winning team hoist the trophy over their heads in victory in the AFL Grand Final…TV goes to absolute shite, and you realise it’s about to become a series of Elvis films and old sitcoms for about a month. I don’t have a shed, and wouldn’t know what to do with one. No car to work on, just the same hangover and nothing good to scream at or drink even more too. It’s the scariest time of any mans year.

OK, I know this was nearly 4 years ago now...but i'm the writer here and the Swans are my team...eat me!

Picture this and weep. Sunday afternoon, noon, post AGB, feeling average from a big night, eating leftovers. You turn on the TV and you don’t have Foxtel. Then what do you see…’The Mighty Ducks 2’. What…the…fuck! It’s soul destroying stuff. Disney Movies about sport and a Hollywood ending are as much of substitute for the footy as giving yourself sexual pleasure with a weed-wacker is to a good blowjob.

Maybe some Motorsport will do (Bathurst 1000 anyone? I thought not), until the first test for the summer, we’re pretty much fucked in the arse aren’t we? By the way before you say it, the Melbourne cup is not sport, it’s betting and drinking and wearing stupid hats event for one Tuesday in November. Fuck the nags and the tracks they ride on.

Yay....

Now I should mention if you’re like me, One HD is the potential saviour of man-kind. I like my American Sport, well Basketball anyway. But if it’s Baseball or a repeat of Golden Girls, I’ll be watching RBI’s and Home Runs…and I hate Baseball.

What do you do in this situation? Do you get into a project around the home? Go for a run? Actually spend time with the girlfriend? Holy shit…you’re lost and you may even cry.

Enough to make a grown man cry? Yep.

With the NBL in complete disarray, the NBA season not starting for 3 weeks after the AFL Grand Final, and only V8 Bogancars to keep a man like me interested in being conscious on a weekend during the daylight, I’m not looking forward to October…maybe the weather will fine up though. I could actually go outside, but what fun is that? God help us all.

Regards

Gav

P.S. Although watching the Australia Vs England one-dayers as I type this, if I have to put up with any more fucking ads with Ricky Ponting’s rude head on my TV, I will kill something small and cute.