Brain Splatter…OoooOOooo Nasty…yucky

Morning, Afternoon and Evening to you all…..*whispered* Brain Splatter…

So…You think you can dance….you can’t…you like a Gibbon having an epileptic fit…

Your corpse is bio-degradable

It’s good to write again…but not good to write under a doona covered in leopard print because you left your doona in your best friends car. Stupid, drunk Gav.

I have two video clips for you today, because I love to entertain…

No.1: Kash boyz – Party Up (facebook readers click on the picture)

Just what watch…and bounce! Then laugh…Gangsta! I think you should spent less on the wardrobe and more on the clip, gentlemen.

East 17: Alright…(same as above the video facebookers)

This was played at my local last night for a giggle for the staff. Hilarity ensues immediately! Bunch of Geezers looking raver/gangsta (in 1993 mind you). The wardrobe alone is awesome! But then the dancing, the gestures of the lead singer in the group, the rent-a-crowd and the fact that for its day…this clip would have cost a fucking mint and the best part is that it comes off 16 years later and unintentional comedy. ENJOY!

God bless Community Radio…one I’m on it and too, I love the people who present early morning weekend shows…their presentation is dull and they play music probably that guy and 3 other people give a shit about…why am I listening to this again?

I like boobs, basketball, broad statements, brutality, biased opinions, brilliant sporting moments, and bad, big time alliteration. BOOM!

The reason Lady Gaga has a ‘poker face’ is because she turns people to stone when they look directly at her.

North Korea is the naughty child of world politics… I like their attitude ‘Fuck you UN, we’re building and testing nuclear weapons because we’re North Korea, mother fucker!’ *all while grabbing their crotch*.

Aussie version of Thug Life: Go to pub, punch on with someone, then punch on with bouncer…lose both fights…stumble home, punch wife. Thug Life, bitch.

Imagine if my name was Jimmy Recard, I wonder if I’d be the king of the bar stool and nobody would think I’m an arsehole? I think I’d still the obnoxious arsehole writing this blog.

Best name I ever heard: Troy Champion…you’d wanna be a cool guy with a name like that. You could pick with that name alone…

Troy: Hi, i’m Troy Champion

Girl: Cool name, wanna go to my place or just fuck in the alleyway?

Don’t you hate it when you pull some amazing physical feat, like catching a pen with your toes or something…and you’re the only person who was there….god damn, I hate that?

Note to a whole bunch of musicians: STOP! YOU’RE RUINING IT FOR THE TALENTED FOLK AND THE AUDIENCE WHO HAS TO YOUR WHINGING, OFF PITCH SINGING!  Thank you.

I hate ‘Indie cool’. I just to take these guys out back and shoot them in the head… The indie girls however…can come and talk to about me Sylvia Plath and their neurosis while I nod and smile and think “I wonder she looks like with those heavy op shop clothes and the scarf, over sized vintage bag and silly hat on”. What? I like Indie chicks…

Yeeeeeahhhhh baby...

The French…stereotypically rude, apathetic, holding a cigarette, saying something pessimistic, my kind of people. Now, to learn French. Merde!

Viva La France

I need a full-body massage, no happy ending, unless she does it voluntarily.

I want 20 million dollars so I can walk around the planet, causing mischief and have sex, mid afternoon on a Tuesday drunk and then sleep til Thursday. The world deserves that. Take that last sentence how you will by the way.

I like that you write almost anything in a book. I plan to write some twisted shit in my book.

Porn…yep, fills those lonely nights…and you don’t need to call her after.

Yeeeeeah baby...

I could die in a sea of stuffed toys in places like Toys R Us…and no one would find me until I started to smell. I can’t believe how low the standards of presentation are in some of these stores…you can tell I work in a hotel…although it’d make a great bed for a vagrant.

The last thing you would ever see....

If guys make ‘Mama jokes’ why don’t girls make ‘your Daddy’ jokes?

I speak for the group (in my head). I love stupid violent movies, easy women and drinking to excess with my mates…

EVERY POP SONG EVER IS ABOUT FUCKING! Okay, I can think of several hundred that aren’t…but most are.

You know what I song I love…Tusk by Fleetwood Mac…what the fuck were they on during that recording session? Emo bands take note…that is music!

Once again…click the picture facebookers.

A dog is not a man best friend…his cock is. It’s also his worst enemy ask any guy with a look of dejected horror on his face in the line of a supermarket (you’ll see at least 7 of these a day at a shopping centre) with his fat, annoying little girl with a Hannah Montana shirt on, asking profusely for a chocolate bar and I bet about if he wishes wore a condom on that fateful night. Cock = Worst enemy too.

How do Country Musicians make money? Seriously?

I don’t get Hoodies…I own two, but the hood is completely impractical, it only catches the cold air while you have it on.

Yup...

I would marry for money…Cougars i’m single and willing!

Speaking of which, I think Dep. Prime Minister Julia Gillard is single…Mmmm Government Perks, A driver, free travel and Tax Breaks. Julia call me, i’ll make your weekend!

Yeeaaahhh baby....government perks...and I can always say "I have a headache'

Apparently someone wrote a sequel to ‘Catcher and The Rye”…why?

If we are re-hashing EVERYTHING for the 80’s…re-release The Breakfast Club in the cinemas. Or re-make it ‘todays hottest stars’…same soundtrack though…but covered by Franz Ferdinand or someone of the like. Multi-Million Dollar idea, Hollywood!

Don't you forget about me...i mean that

Was when you look at films from the 80’s. Don’t think, damn they cast some really average women in those female lead roles. Example: Glenn Close in anything…I rest my case!

Jesus!

You know who deserves more credit than she gets. Mila Kunis…cute and funny.

You’re background noise to someone.

Sometimes I wish I was the sweet, naive Gav I was about 3 years ago. Then I think the sex and good times i’ve had since and I stop thinking.

Sperm Facials are now in vogue as a beauty treatment…Peter North is going to make a fortune! Those porn girls must have great skin too…

You know who needs a punch in the mouth….Dane Cook. What a douche!

You can see my point...

Enough for now…

Gav