Something that dawned on me yesterday…I expect hate mail too!

THANK FUCK I’M NOT A DOCKERS SUPPORTER!

Disappointing and possibly useless!

I’m a Sydney Swans supporter,  but i’ll tell you even though my Swans are going to have a very bad year (they didnt score for 2 whole quarters last week!). I’m still glad the Dockers aren’t my team. I secretly hope they succeed (just for thier supporter base, because they’re normally better people than those Eagles supporters) I really do. I’ll openly HATE the Eagles and they’re “superior” supporters until I die too.

But just watching them yesterday as a innocent bystander, you just think FUCK SAKE, YOU’RE A PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL PLAYER…HIT A TARGET!!!. I would have changed teams by now if I was a Dockers supporter as a kid. How does one team constantly fuck it up so much?

I’ve watched Carlton go First to Worst to nearly there again (Juddy and Co. are marching). Melbourne (last year’s easy beats) were in a GRAND FINAL 9 years ago. My own Swans were shit for a good 25 years straight (some of that as South Melbourne)….we won a premiership in 2005 and were 1pt shy of a 2nd in a row in2006 . Port who were introduced to the competition 2 years LATER than Freo won a premiership in 2004….the best the Dockers have done was ONE preliminary final in 2006…which my Swannies SMASHED them in. The one of THREE years they’ve been in the finals….they’ve been around for nearly 15 years! Port won that premiership I mentioned earlier in SEVEN years!

The reason why:

So how is it that the Freo Dockers with loyal supporters (to a fault), a bit of cash and Matthew Pavlich in the side…. lose so much? Is it Bad Recruiting (yes actually)? injuries? bad coaching? trouble in the clubhouse? apathy?

I know what it is….it’s the song!

It’s awful!!!!!!!!!

I apologize for audio quality…they should apologise for the song!

What an awful club song….most of the club songs are decent…for ripped off march or US college fight songs. The Swans song is the US Marine’s song.

But who wants to win and hear THAT! Freo Heave ho? Even the Eagles have a better song! Freo Heave Ho…sounds like you need to throw up.

I also realised what it may be….

THEY WEAR PURPLE, GREEN AND RED!

This is the shittest uniform in Pro Sports

They colour purple itself is not solely responsible…in Basketball, The LA Lakers have multiple championships in PURPLE and yellow.

Kobe Bryant and Lakers..3 championships THIS decade in PURPLE

But seriously, PURPLE, RED AND GREEN. What about Red and Yellow? Black…just plain ol’ black!

What man (or woman) wants to represent or wear those colours…

Even the logo sucks!

This is their coach, Mark Harvey...poor bastard

I know what it is definately…it’s this…

I don’t care if we lose every game, as long as we beat the Eagles -A Dockers supporter

WHAT THE FUCK?

So the team only shows up for 2 games a year…if I found out that was my team motivation during the year…that most important game was the local derby…i’d fire them on the spot….turn up and give your all for all 22 games…and finals…jesus!

What does say about the supporters? So downtrodden that they base their entire year on 2 games against West Coast…aim high, Freo supporters! How about a premiership cup? I’d be happy to lose to the Eagles TWICE this year if we won the premiership in exchange….not going to happen by the way…The Swans genuinely suck this year.

Fremantle are the most dissapointing team in Australian sports. I will continue to watch the train wreck which is thier football games (for the drama alone). I will continue to hope for something to change, but I know it won’t…. poor Freo and thier supporters.

Regards

Gav

1601, Boys Album Launch and much drinking!

‘LIVE from the Hotel”

7:30pm:

Apart from a sore eye…things are pretty awesome here at the moment. The sore eye is because I sprayed dedorant in my eye…hurt like shit. Washed it out straight away, but now my eye is redish. Gav = dumbass.

In fact i’ve injured myself in so many ways this week. I’ve been in the wars, maaaan. You don’t know what I’ve seeen maaaaan. Ok, enough vietnam movie jokes.  Or even in the last couple of weeks, sliced my finger a bread knife (high comedy in hindsight), various cuts and bruises, caught and fought off a cold and more bumps and dumb clumsy shit than A Three Stooges episode.

*Performs the Curlys’ routine*

Wow, i’m trying a mojito….fuck me it’s strong. What’s the bet because I kinda work here…it’s like..”Double-pour for Gav”…really this thing is that strong! WOW!
I’ll have photos up on the facebook by the time this is posted so go look at those (for those that get the facebook feed)…looking forward to the Boys’ launch which starts in less than an hour. Even though the first act on…failed to turn up to Western.Oz THREE TIMES! I’ll check her out anyway…the woman can sing.

Seriously, what is with people thinking Perth to Joondalup is a mission….it’s 23 minutes! (with no traffic) You know what’s a mission? Kalgoorlie to Perth after being fired from your last chance at a good career in radio….that is a mission!

Although the anger and disappointment did push me home for that 6.5 hours I spend FLYING home at an average speed of 135km per hour. I wasn’t fucking around that day. People should harden the fuck up….Perth to Joondalup…a mission…fucking soft! Don’t start me on me on inner city folk or Mt.Lawley cats….fuck!

Where was I?

I like the staff in the resturant…they’re professional as. Seriously, they even look posh pouring drinks (one hand behind the back with a great posture). I may have to lift my game as a Concierge. This drink has a serious kick to it. I will hopefully be able to walk to Amps soon.

I still have to iron my shirt for the night. Shiiiiit.

Funniest part of being here is the realisation that i’m the youngest person (apart from the staff) at the Bar. Political talk, and economy chat going on around me. Here I am, spending money on mojitos. Fuck the recesssion…I refuse to be a part of it. I’m saving and being sensible with my money (bar this hotel stay). You know it’s the mainstream media fuelling this…and someone at the top is rolling in the cash. I’m sure someone has figured out a way to make money from everyone losing money….someone on Wall Street is laughing and spitting on 100 dollars and wiping his arse with them…..hmmm the drink is getting to me obviously.

The homo looking drink...but fuck it was strong!

There is the mojito….it’s a faggotity looking glass. No picking up from this bar. Meh. Back to my room now…shirts to be iron and such.

12:54am:

That was wicked fun…I decide not to hit on anyone tonight…I though fuck em, this is MY hotel room, MY spa, MY bathrobe (I’m wearing a robe for the first time ever…seriously)…besides…I don’t need any rumor or innuendo circling around me…well any more rumors…thanks the my former local.

I plan to wake up late tomorrow morning…smash some bacon and eggs. Chat to the staff…I spoke with the crew a lot today….more than I planned…

Anyway, less about me talkng to people I know…and more about the show. It was awesome to see Boys Boys Boys get to this point and release something, they’ve worked really hard and they’re sweetest people in Perth Music. I hope they sell a shitload of copies of the album. I bought a copy and a t-shirt.

Support the scene….I couldn’t care less about the scene actually, support a hard working, fun band who make me smile everytime they play….which is better than most bands have EVER done. Them and New Rules For Boats are the only bands to produce this result.

I Digress, the night was good, even for the Amplifier…which is a venue of which I DESPISE! On the subject of the Amplifer…fuck those fingerprinting machines…although I can see somewhere like Dusk investing in those soon. How Orwellian of them, to scan my license and fingerprints…i’ll probably be killed now for speaking against Big Brother..but hey…what’s next DNA swabs…blood matches….fuck sake…it’s a nightclub, not the Pentagon!

Seeing James Kaos (from the old days of 897FM) was cool, and finding out he’s dating a member of one of my favourite bands (yes, a girl in a band…my personal dream…i’m slightly jealous!), showed me once again how small Perth is……..still!

Boys KILLED IT! I was front row, and I prawned, nodded my head and danced ever so slightly (trust me….me dancing is bad!) in a 45 minute set which featured a new song or two and a spandex dance appearence from some “Comedian”…it was his best moment of the night (most people who call themselves Comedians are very UNfunny). Benny Mayhem’s appearence was scary and spectacular….that was COMEDY!

Overall an awesome night…the hotel room was well worth the cash and the fun I had won’t be forgotten anyday soon. Now to sleep in the best bed ever produced…seriously it’s fucking amazing!

2:03pm the Next Day…

I’m glad I took the late check-out, my god I was worse for wear…killer hangover…thats what I get for having beer and wine and spirits and alcopops…lots of drinking done last night. Much fun though.

Breakfast, Bacon and Eggs…seriously…good service at this hotel, these eggs are THE shit too! They gave me an OJ, because I was hungover too…Seriously…ask me what hotel this is privately…it’s awesome.

Anyhoo, I eneded up at the gym and pool…I used the pool and not the gym…trust me, it helped like no ones business. The woman that was in the pool with me was checking me out…hilarious and semi-cool. Hungover Gav was in no mood for sex. So I kept swimming….stupid headache.

Then it was a long shower and useage of that robe again…watching footy in a robe in a luxury room….bliss!

Time to leave guys….hope you enjoyed the story half as much as i did experiencing the whole thing.

Regards

Gav

THIS IS BRILLIANT!

Enjoy….

Regards

Gav

Gav’s Build-up to the “Best Night Eva”

I know this pretty obvious..but head colds suck the donkey wonky. Fuck! At the worst possible time too….just before the “Bestest day ever” which may have to turn into the best arvo/night ever. While build my immune systems attack against this enemy that I believe my work gave me, or maybe it was a guest either way…GRRRRRR!

Boys...i know you'll deliver the goods.

Suggestions for the hotel room…it’s not going to be party central (thats the launch, baby!)…because I kinda work at the place. A few people have said use it as pick-up line…WHAT DECENT WOMAN WILL SAY YES TO….

“I HAVE A HOTEL ROOM…BEST ROOM IN THE HOUSE, BABY“

*crickets*

I thought so.

There is the ramifications involved for such frivolity, I don’t want my boss pulling me aside on Monday…

Boss: Gavin, why were the sheets sewn to curtains, a puppy left in the hotel room, with a sign saying “adopt me, I was stolen from the RSPCA” and a bunch of women ringing you at various hours…

Step into my office and may want to take off your name badge, the resturant staff might try and find where you live after what you did to the bar.

In fact, apart from a few drinks in the room and music (i’m bringing my PC with me for a bit of soundtrack action while chillaxing in the spa…yes a spa!). The staff will be bearly hear a peep out of me…seriously. I will NOT be a wanker to staff at any establishment (one of my general life rules)…unless they’re a fuckhead first. That goes to people who answer phones like “Whaddya want?”…nice customer service, dick feature.

Back to the point, this will be a top night…Boys Boys Boys! launch their album, The Prawn Dance will be unleashed on the world (not my invention!). Best room in house to stumble back to…and i’m single, decent looking guy in the city…things could happen for me…

Here’s to a good night

Regards

Gav

Guilty Pleasures

I want those who get the facebook feed of this…which is the VAST majority of my readership to play along with this…

Just going through my Ipod playlist and I realised my “Guilty Pleasures” list is growing…

It originally was something like My Chemical Romances’ “Welcome to the Black Parade” (which for is the emo equivliant of a Queen song which makes it cool!)

But it’s now scary…

The Ting Tings – Great DJ (at least it’s not “That’s Not My Name” ….bitch!)

Boys Boys Boys! make an appearance with Ticky-Ticky Boom….I like the lyric from a severely attractive woman asking “Are you shy or are you useless“…I’m sure a few women have asked that one first up on a date with me….

The silliness of “Read A Book”

Always a giggle when I’ve got the Ipod on shuffle… I have a semi-serious song…then “READ A BOOK, READ A BOOK, READ A MOTHER FUCKIN’ BOOK”….forever awesome.

Sarah Blasko…I used to have a crush on this woman until I realised that Chris Lilley as J’amie King (Summer Hieghts High) looks like Sarah, that ended that crush immediately…either way any Blasko song is good yet somewhat embarrassing song to have  my Ipod.

Even in her video’s she can’t dance….baha. Those have seen Ms.Blasko live know the woman can’t dance….she’s almost at a Peter Garrett level.

Sia’s “Soon We’ll Be Found”…best ballad written in years! Still a woman crooning about love…embarrassing.

I’d never seen this video until posted it…this woman is nuts!

M.I.A’s – Paper Planes..what song could promote robbery and murder and come off as high comedy and not be too gangsta? Exactly…all that being said…I have pretty gangsta songs on my ipod…but I love my Hip-Hop and i’m not ashamed…dammit!

This should cause a few “WTF’s”…Van Halen’s “Dreams”…why? You gotta have cheese in ANY list…this is my cheese.

Cool Video too!

I don’t know if this is embarrassing or not but i’ll leave with you N.E.R.D – Rockstar…the last of my embarrassing songs on my Ipod…

Tell me some your embarrassing songs in your collection…time to give something back…bastards!

Regards

Gav

Observation and quips

You know what’s a great word….atrocious. It’s great to say…especially if you’re dressing someone down. Imagine being a professional coach and telling your players thier play was atrocious…what a word!

This would be the awesomeness

You know what I want…apart from 20 million dollars (Imagine me, rich with THAT MUCH FREE TIME!). Is the George Carlin “box set” from Itunes. It’s all 3 audiobooks…7 hours of Carlin musings for me to enjoy on the train…

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I bought some new t-shirts (some nice ones for the lady folk to think…NICE!) yesterday…I love how nice staff are to you when you’re trying something on….

Sales chick: That looks great on you…

*Big smile with a small hint of sexual attraction for the added touch for her male customer*

Gav thinks…I can see it looks alright…but don’t come along like you, know me and tell me I look good… Unless you want my number…baha.

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I love messing with people’s heads…some of the staff at work (and I do love you guys by the way) are just learning about the way this brain processes information…they don’t what to think….it’s harmless, trust me. Yes, kids…I think like this blog…i’m always observing and always thinking…good practice for 2011. I’ll be “Zen Master of noticing dumb shit” by then…

I heart her...yes...I said "heart"

Ladyhawke...Bogan Chic?

Sia...wierd...incredible

Why is that I like Indie-pop chick singers all of a sudden?…Sia (seriously, what a voice!), Ladyhawke (She’s like the nerdy chick you’d want take home after a Blondie show in 80’s and find out she’s a MANIAC in the sack and come home cuts and bruises), The Grates (Patience has a spot in my heart forever…19, 20, 20, 19 20, 20!)…it’s not just the fact that i’d sleep with them all, I like the music…i’ve gone mad….send me away, please.

This guy is a champion!

If you like American Sports…you should listen “The B.S Report with Bill Simmons” the guy is a genius. Makes american sports HIGHLY entertainng….although i’m a huge NBA fan. That and the guy writes dumb shit better than I do.

Best Night EVER! Music by these guys!

I’m also thinking this Saturday could be the best ever… NICE Hotel room (Ladies invited ONLY) and the Boys Boys Boys album launch….it’s going to own HARD! Best Night EVA! (according to the poster).

Regards and more soon…

Gav

Something I wrote on the train last night…writing on the fly…on the Ipod.

Small realisation…

I’ve realised…that i’ve had pretty interesting and gifted life so far…i won’t go into it because, you ask me about a stupid story, when talk to me next.

I’m decent looking (just decent), white guy…hold up…

Big Sidenote

Before I continue, I mention race because most people I know are racist…it’s really scary. In multicultural society like Australia….racism is RAMPANT! Especially my dear friends….the bogan population. Being white is does NOT mean you’re the high and mighty…i know…i’m white! How dare these people judge people on thier skin colour or religious beliefs. As much as I hate religion…i don’t judge people because they’re Islamic or whatever…but i’ve covered my people policy previously.

The reason i’m writing this sidenote…these bogan breeders about 10 metres to my right….Mum, Dad (both bogan), look like they travel the poverity line with 3 kids and another on the way. Firstly…FUCK!

Secondly…and the WORST part for me is the BREEDING…don’t bring kids into the world if you can’t afford them. Yay…another illiterate, unwanted kid (apart from the Baby Bonus), all the while this guy is going on about the fact “he hasn’t seen a fuckin’ white face since he’s been at the train station”. FUCK! Wow, what a pair of charmers. If thats what the “average Australian” is…i’m doing ok…better than.

Someone please take these children away from these folks. 4 kids, to these stupid parents (loose term), will end being just like Mum and Dad. Look forward to those kids on your buses, White Power meetings and bar-brawls at your local pub in 2023.

End Sidenote

Why am Iwriting this realisation about me…apart from the fact i’m being nice lately and starting to see to nice things in life, i’ve noticed people’s reaction to me totally different. I was hit 3 times last night….3 fucking times. They all weren’t anything to write home about (which is why i politely excused myself from the conversation). But took it as a major compliment. It’s scary and stupid that people can get “vibes” from me and other people. Instinct is a great tool, I should use it more. They were older women too…Gav = potential toy boy…baha

Back to the Ipod notes…

I’ve been given a pretty interesting and unique skill set. I don’t think i’m terrible with the written word, I wasn’t shit at radio (and continue to be half decent now on good ol’ community radio), I also think i’m a good conversationalist, I have a knack for getting people relaxed…even if i’m not. Humour is my key…bad humour but humour none-of-the-less.

The reason I write like this today is simple…if someone like me, who has an extremely low self-esteem and has hated everything for the last 9 years can realise, “hey life’s not so bad, i’ve done some very funny, crazy, dumb and awesome shit in my 25 years on this planet so far”…with potential for so much more. Anyone can…maybe even one of those 4 kids can realise some form of potential and live a cool and fun life. I know I do.

Regards

Gav

Meet my new love…

My Ipod Touch…

I love it sooooo...it's my ipod touch...well not this unit....

I’m converted, officially, totally….I hated the idea of iTunes, aggressive program that it is…it’s vicious…it really is.

But now…

“dunno what I was thinkin’”

“How the fuck did I think these things weren’t awesome?”

Those are the thoughts running through my head when I play with my new love….yes LOVE. I’m in love with an mp3 player…it’s got a place next to me on my bed. Until I get a girlfriend (if you’re new to this blog…yes, i’m single, can’t you tell), thats where my new best friend is. This thing keeps me entertained better, than alcohol, my nightclub failures and MOST people combined.

Best part…no failures (although if someone could tell me how to get my fucking facebook app on the Touch to work i’d be happy). It does it’s job, plays me videos, music and I’m hideously addicted to podcasts (about 4 different ESPN podcasts, Dr.Karl and even a 3AW Football podcast…just waiting for footy to bouncedown).

My whole life is now revolving this object (well not my whole life…more developments soon). This thing has me happier than any consumer product ever, that includes my reclusive teenage days, in front the playstation playing NBA Live 99.

So many days...wasted....

The touch (which is what I call it), will makes sure that unlike so many unhealthy attachments to inanimate objects (like people with World of Warcraft…which i’ll NEVER understand!), this get actually helps me get to work, and social occassions, get some exercise and get outside. Although i Tunes kept me inside all last Sunday….but I was also severely hungover…so you can forgive me for that.

This prove that I need a girlfriend…but until then I have my Ipod Touch and insane amount of music to hunt down and stuff on this thing yet…

*Starts watching the video for “Talk Like That on the Ipod”

Regards and Love

Gav

A change…

I’m back to writing about my internal thoughts…in this transition period in my life….towards what…I have no fuckin’ idea….but this is leading to somthing…who knows what it is.

SCARY DEVELOPMENT:

I’m enjoying pop music again (well certain kinds mostly the indie stuff like Sia and Ladyhawke), I find angry people annoying instead fellow kinship, i’m opening up to people and being nice. Smiling, 3/4 listening to people….still being critical and outspoken…but i feel…yes I FEEL.

I’m fucking scared…I haven’t these kind of emotions for maybe 10 years. Seriously, I kinda hit the kill switch in high school (like most people high school did it’s damage). After so many weeks/months/years straight of being picked on as a teenage boy, I just grew cold and angry. I got over that resentment of those people, pretty much as soon as didnt see those people again….but the level of disdain for my fellow human stayed for years.

The fire is still there, but the fuel isnt there. I have no idea what has caused this change of heart. But it feels odd and abnormal…I don’t hate everything. Everything seems more colourful, more vibrant, I noticed the warm of the sun, sunrises are gorgeous to me, don’t start me on watching a sunset…that I know started in Margaret River.

See...this is beautiful....what the hell is wrong with me?

Don’t worry about me… I’M NOT HIGH, no magic mushrooms (I haven’t followed the Bill Hicks path). There is also still the guarded Gav, the guy who will write his semi-spiteful/semi-humorous blog about how he hates stupidity, cycling and Gretel Killeen…that fire will never die.

But life isn’t so bad, people are somewhat interesting and women are beautiful and worth loving…yes I just typed that….

I need to lie down and smile at the night sky for a while.

Regards

Gav

Freestyle…word.

Things bothering me today…

People making out…

Only because it’s not me…bahaahahahaha.

Ok, THIS would have been cool with me.

As per the previous blog, people making out in front of me is not the tonic for this emotionally wounded wuss-bag. On Saturday night (in response to the aforementioned Friday) I went out and got drunk (like fucking destroyed!)…not best way to feel better about the world but I did it anyway (yes, I was PUNISHED with a brutal hangover the follwing day). Still I noticed …it was make out night at my local!…smoochy-fucking-smooch!

Everyone was hooking up and I was like a crow watching some dog eat my young…I felt sick, angry and my heart (yes, I have one) sunk. But unlike a crow I can’t peck the dogs eye out….wow, that’s one dark little metaphor.

People making out in public or on a dancefloor sucks the donkey wonkey!

Because it’s not me…

NEXT ITEM!

Women on esclators in high heels…

The result of this stupid idea, ladies...

Now ladies, I understand the fashion involved (too much watching Tyra Banks with Amy…more man points lost!…but Tyra is VERY easy on the eye so ner!)…I love the way they make your legs and arse look…but stay out of my way on esclators….especially when i’m in a rush!

Example A: Woman in her mid-50’s running (stumbling and bumbling) heading towards my usual 7:14am train into town on the escalator….in my path…Me, mid-20’s nimble for my lack of co-ordination and wearing sneakers and with some serious motivation to get on that train…who’s going to faster?…who should give way?

That’s right the winner is El Gav…the guy who can actually change direction without going arse-over-tit.

So why stay in my way?…jealousy? Man-hater? Complete bitch? Totally inept? Who knows!

Either way I pulled one of the crossovers of the year, got around Stumble McSlowheel. Got the train and with time to spare. She got there too just as the doors closed…

If I had missed the train because of her…she going on the tracks! (Okay, I would have said “Thanks for making me late, speedy” and scorned her for the rest of the day).

Moral of the story: Don’t wear high heels on escalators!

More mental musings soon…

With scorn and lust

Gav