The Melbourne Saga…

Well here I am. After the rather spiteful blog on Christmas Day, I will apologize to my good friends who wrote me after with a “please explain”. To you i’m apologize again. This is the story of the most EPIC of fails…Gav’s “move” to Melbourne in January 2009 which lasted a whole 6 and half days.

Now on to this Melbourne business…and how it all went down.

Day 1:

Red Eye Flights are NEVER fun, but this flight was especially shit for some reason. It may have been the cantankous guy in the opposite seat or the fact that the airline I used asks you to pay for the TV you watch…i’m not paying for 3.5 hours of television ever.

Anyway, 30 minutes (estimate) of sleep (out of the 4 hours we were in the air) later I arrived in Melbourne at 5:38am local time.

Where I found myself saying two words….UNSEASONABLY COLD!

I come from Perth in the midst of a heat…38. 39. 17 with a gusty winding off the Bass Strait. In other words…fucking cold! It was a Perth winters’ day in the height of summer.

Sarina (my new roommate) & I went to Frankston after I slept most of the morning away. Frankston known as scumfuck area wasn’t too bad at the beach anyway. At the end of the train line different story. We looked at some Dinosaurs made out of sand…I have to say…well done to the sculptures…the work was awesome.

Went home shattered, and slept for 11 hours.

Day 2:

We had a hire car so we moved house…to our new location in the CBD.

Heres my trip inventory (so you know how little i had to move personally):

One suitcase with clothes and toiletries…
My laptop and the bag it was carried
and my general everyday bag.

THAT’S IT!

I’ve done this moving around stuff enough now to know to travel lightly. I’ll think i’m smart later…

I then headed out to see my best friend Simona…

Then I caught up with my dear friend Simona. Spend the evening partying it with her…Now with more promise for fun and madness with dear Mona.

I went to her friends going away BBQ. Her friend is Jade and Jade was the single best looking woman i’ve ever seen in person. Wow! Regardless of that situation I had fun meeting Mona’s friends and apparantly they liked me… They were a cool crowd and one of them (who used to play in Perth hard rock legends Heavy Weight Champ) recognised me at this shindig…kinda cool that these dudes remembered my face from Perth Music shows…or maybe I have memorable face…in the “not-good” way? Western.Oz was worth the effort.

Talking to Mona about sex for 90 minutes was hilarious, talking to the women at the party was also quite amusing to boot (I didnt flirt that much either) I went home feeling quite pleased with myself…and glad I got to talk to some guy about Hardcore Punk too (not the whingy emo kind). Fascinating stuff.

Day 3:

Wow. New Apartment, I didn’t expect to move this quick to be honest. I’m actually concerned already…should I be…probably not. Either way, i’m living in the Melbourne CBD and this apartment is VERY New York…Gav in the City without the sex or homo cocktails. Best part of this whole exercise i’m 2 minute from Flinders Street Train Station…that is fucking awesome trust me!

Although in the NOT awesome file…I lost my bankcard today…I cancelled it and all. But no bankcard and no idea how i’ll be at this address either….Ive decided to be concerned now.

Day 4:

11am:

Job search MANIA today! I’ve been a resume flinging machine! 22 jobs in less than 2 days…a few rejections but that’s what come with the territory. Lunch is needed…i’ll be back later…

4pm:

Wow….it’s all fallen apart…in a matter of hours. The place i’m staying at…is a place i shouldn’t be. Apparantly, the one of the people who rents this place who had NO IDEA that me OR Sarina were staying here (this person is currently in Africa). It was her roommate who let me & Sarina stay here. I was informed by the boyfriend of the other tenant (who was cooler than expected I would kicked my arse out on the spot!). I’ve volunteered to leave tomorrow (i’m not squatting on thier couch that poor form and I would be here if I knew the full situation) and apologised to him and his absent girlfriend for any inconvience, he was like “relax” and I’m currently really pissed off (and was really pissed off at the time). This has turned from an adventure to a nightmare in world-record-time. What the fuck do I do about this one? Sarina and I need to have a long chat I think…

9pm:

I told Sarina about the problem (and the fact I have a MAJOR issue with this situation)…she seems more worried about me dumping everything and fucking off home…i’m starting to think… there is no good job prospects in next 4 weeks (yes, i could work in a cafe but I can do that in Perth for fuck sake!) good jobs are the reason I came to Melbourne…it seems that i’ll be homeless and unemployed as of tomorrow. I’m fucked. I need to think of a plan and quick.

Day 5:

7am:

Decision time, I had a restless night. Too much to think about. Mona has bailed me out of sleeping on a park bench but thats for about 2 weeks. I’m starting to think that this is totally not worth the fight. Like I said previous, job prospects are low and sleeping on peoples couches is not my idea of stability or a way too live in this manner. I will pack my shit and get out of this fucking apartment. I’ve been an unexpected nuisance for long enough.

12:35pm:

Decision made. I’m going the fuck home tomorrow! No point digging myself out of this crater. I have money and friends at home (who I have to call and say “hey i’m bugging out…i’ll be home by the weekend”). Jodie knows already, I also called Sandra too…I need to talk to someone about what’s going on. The worst part of all this…until tonight it’s me and my bags…this would be cool if I was backpacking…then i’d happy with this amount of free movement…alas i’m homeless with a laptop in a library and a suitcase in a security locker at Southern Cross Station. In fact this lappy is going to join that suitcase shortly…more later

11pm:

Ticket purchased, a home sortted, friends informed, shame growing, hope rising cause i’ll be at home soon with a heatwave, no car and my job at Jay Jays intact. By some fluke i’m still actually employed there…so back to work I go for the Jays! That makes me smile…I like that job. I was stupid to leave.

But fuck today was draining! I’m shattered right now. That and my toe has becoming infected for it being stepped on during a BBQ on Boxing Day. I’ll get that seen to when I get back, painkillers help. I also slammed my pointer finger in a door today….not pleasant. Physical pain to go with the stress and emotional distress i’ve had over head for the last 33 hours. One more day and I flight out tomorrow night at 645pm. I’ll be on the bus at 4pm…I’m just needing to go home and curl up and die for a week. The brutality of this trip has taught me an incredible lesson. Rash even though seemingly calculated decisions will ALWAYS fall over hard!

The worst part for me is that I have no car now. I didn’t love that car…but it was my car. Public transport in Perth is poor compared to here in Melbourne. I’ll miss my freedom of driving for a while….fuck!

Time to sleep.

Day 6: The Final Day!

7am:

Awake from a broken sleep, 11 hours to go. Katy Perry on the TV. “You change you’re mine like a girl changes clothes”…this is aimed at me today, Katy. That being said fuck you Katy (bahahaha), I’m glad that i’ve made this decision, I can find that corner and lick my wounds. Today i’m a defeated man and think that this post-grand-final-like-loss feeling will hang around for quite some time. Once again I wear my failure on my sleeve and air them publicly….when will I learn….probably never. I think i’ll be super tourist today. More when wirte more on the plane.

7pm:

Well I was super tourist, looked at bunch of shit. Docklands, Lygon Street and more and all on free bus. I thought ‘fuck it’, smash in some tourist bullshit and stay off my feet at the same time. I also did some shopping…scored some nice dress shirts for the ladies….well for me to wear and the ladies to say nice shirt…..yes, joking about the ladies…but yeah….

11pm:

Sorry I was interupted by a lovely lady named Alana. Who I spoke to for the next three hours of the flight home. Thanks to her for an interesting enlightening and downright awesome conversation.

Jodie gave me a lift and spare bed to sleep in. God bless her. I need sleep now…but fuck it’s hot! Better being cold on the streets of Melbourne though…Goodbye shittest week ever.